The story out of the Middle East (Iran) recently is no longer “nukes,” but the successful (from the Iranian propaganda view) control of the Hormuz Strait.  

This story (BS) has inspired the little “redneck” left side of my brain.

What that “hemisphere” has decided is that  I’m using the description of my “California buddy” living in an Appalachian shack; however it is on very desirable real estate, as evidenced by the number of Yankees, Floridians, and Californians who move here.  

Not only that but I live on a corner lot being one of two ways in and out of the neighborhood. What one might term a strategic control point — a chokepoint — in the neighborhood.  

Thus I like the Iranians have decided to charge a toll to enter and leave the neighborhood using the streets adjoining my property. To facilitate this, I have gone to Tractor Supply Co. and bought two 500 packs of BBs for my Daisy Red Rider BB gun.

I also went to South Carolina and bought a case of bottle rockets to fire at vehicles that disrespect the tolls.

I may even set up a couple of those boxes like they have at national and state parks, where you put your toll money in an envelope and fill out a ticket, proving you paid your “fee.” Reduced enforcement effort for me.  

Given my thinking out of my left hemisphere, I expect much support from Democrats, Socialists, Communists, Chinese and the Russians. I am sure to be canonized by the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps., as well as other people with TDS.  

I am positive, if my little enterprise turns out to be successful, someone on the other side of the neighborhood will emulate me.  I think in economics that is called a “bonus profit.” I saw it grafted out in economics class, remember I am stupid 192 out of a class of 197.  

I don’t know️ if I got the name right, and I left that book in my leaky Appalachian garage attached to my shack. It got wet, then moldy, so I had to throw it out after the pages stuck together. The term might be “surplus profit.”  

Bottom line... any time a business has one, another— naturally with less talent — will copy you. 

Try to emulate your business model.  Hence McDonald’s and Burger King. If successful, we end up having McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, etc., everywhere.  

Back on point, it seems like a win-win situation I’ve set up for myself, especially with the coming of the midterm elections.  

Heck, knowing these cotton-candy-colored-hair, “No Kings,” burn-your-Tesla people, they might just appoint me chairman of the county commissioners. 

I probably won’t have to stand a primary, the “central committee” just appoint’s me.  

It’s happened before. Right, Kamala?

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Roger Buckner, a political conservative and an Asheville native, lives in South Asheville. In his retirement, he is a hiking, biking, ballroom dance and motorcycle enthusiast. Earlier, as a member of the United States Marine Corps, Buckner served in the Vietnam War. Later, he worked for the Asheville Police Department and the Buncombe County Sheriff’s Office.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Buckner’s reference to his “California buddy” is to Jake Pickering, a progressive pundit who goes by the slogan of “Kill every Nazi” and frequently writes letters to the editor of the Daily Planet, often — lately — lambasting Buckner for the conservative views he espouses in his Daily Planet column.