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Though we like to fantasize on such, the gifts of life do not come without costs.

 Happy-ever-after exists in movies, fairy tales and fictional books. It’s never real, and will never live in the same space and time as reality.

That means that life requires a certain measure of intentionality, effort, courage and persistence, if we’re to have a chance at success.

I thought it might be fun to offer a few constructive suggestions for the various age groups – including those who’s reality is now navigating the after-life.

Warning — this perspective comes from a conservative angle of view. Devotees of the happy-ever-after fantasies of the left might best stop here and spend some time perusing Dante’s “Inferno.”

Children

(1) Hope you are birthed in the womb of a woman who values new life (2) You need successes to develop self-esteem (3) You need lots of love for the same reason (4) You need somebody to read to you (5) A desire to learn should be your constant encouraged companion.

Teens

(1) You feel inadequate because you are, but know that’s okay (2) You’re living in a version of hell – keep moving (3) Growth over comfort should be your compass heading (4) You’ll feel everything with twice the intensity you do later – including hurt and fear – step over both (5) Your social-emotional coping skills will be solidified in middle-school – choose what you practice wisely. 

Young adult

 (1) Time is going to move much faster than you realize (2) Too much timeout through drugs, coasting, videogames, sex and leisure will be an unforced error you should resist (3) Your brain, skills and character are still Jell-O – concentrate on solidifying them (4) We marry at our own level of development – you will choose accordingly, but should still aim high (5) Don’t have kids before you stop being one, but if you do, grow up fast and do better by them than was done by you.

Middle-age adult

 (1) Time is going to pass even faster than it did when you were younger (2) Learn from your earlier mistakes, then forgive, let them go, and move on to something better (3) A mid-life crisis is a good thing if you use it as a time to realign yourself (4) Your personal choices will be the number one determinant of how things go for you (5) Things about you will start to shift, fall apart, go away, or come without an invitation – work to exercise, diet and patrol your health.  

Older adult

(1) The word “retirement” is not in the Bible – examples of the alternative of “refirement” are relentless (2) Remember that if you’re not actively living, you’re actively dying (2) As your body starts to fade, it’s a great opportunity to expand your head, heart and spirit (3) Be assured the nonsensical suggestion: “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks” is just that (4) Be useful, grateful, love on others, contribute to the world around you – these are profound medicines (5) Prepare to be held accountable for how you’ve lived your life – improve yourself, make amends for your errors, and work to get to know your maker. 

Dead adult

(1) Hope and pray you tried to be a good person when you were a person (2) Hope and pray that you were not so foolish as to pretend that you weren’t in the middle of a struggle between good and evil, light and dark, and right and wrong (3) Hope and pray that you made the world a better place while you were here because you are surely going to reap there what you have sown here (4) Hope and pray that you devoted your life to better things than just pursuing your own personal pleasures (5) Now you know they weren’t kidding when they told you time flies.

Everyone 

There are 10 things that count in life regardless of how old you are —

(1) Love is the magic elixir that, with gravity, keeps us properly grounded (2) Between aggressive and passive is a place called assertive, where you blend two skills – being strong and nice (3) Learn the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Uplifting Virtues – run from the former and embrace the latter. (4) Learn to emphasize the positive over the negative as you also maintain a daily attitude of gratitude (5) Life is crazy – treat it responsibly, not seriously (6) Friendships are important – work on them and remember to be one to have one (7) A functional belief in where we come from, what we should be doing while we’re here, and where we’re going when we leave here is indispensable. (8) Between being firmly dependent or independent is a healthy more livable scrip called interdependent (9) When you lose your way, remember that changing your behavior reliably changes how you feel no matter how lost you’ve become (10) Know that “trust ye not in the ways of man” is one of the most important declarations ever made.