Asheville Daily Planet
RSS Facebook
The Juneteenth celebration and ... other less important matters
Wednesday, 22 June 2022 11:30
By DAVE EVANS
Special to the Daily Planet


As the celebration of Juneteenth is in the air it’s time to go through the looking glass and visit Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber and see what life in America and, indeed, in much of the rest of the world has become.

Let’s begin here in the good old USofA, land of the pilgrims’ pride, land where our fathers died — and are now turning over in their graves. 

Now Juneteenth is a holiday to celebrate the emancipation of black slaves in America by a “caucasian” from Kentuky and Illinois (real basket of deplorable country) President, Abraham Lincoln. 

Let us also never forget the 360,222 Northern soldiers, mostly white, who died fighting to free them. What part of the celebration will be dedicated to them I wonder? 


“The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.”
— President Abraham Lincoln, 
“Gettysburg Address”

It seems that the whole world has gone through the looking glass where all logic and rational thinking has become inverted.

As the “woke” community of Asheville celebrates Juneteenth and freeing the slaves we are in the midst of a rising tide of techno-fascism that, if allowed to continue, will enslave all of humanity….but remember…that is just a clever “conspiracy theory” being promoted by the same people that brought you the “insurrection” of January 6th 2020. 

I doubt that we will see a “JanSixth:” holiday anytime soon celebrating the day that citizens decided to peacefully protest the theft of a presidential election where alas democracy fell down the Babbitt hole.

And remember this if you are a patriot in this country or especially if you are a concerned parent about your child’s education, you are a terrorist and if you are patriotic toward the Ukraine and support blood thirsty Ukranian neo-Nazis, you are a true patriot.  

Well, in what is left of America, it would seem that most, if not all of our problems, have been caused by the Russians and the political ghost of the “Golden Golem of Greatness,” who is haunting the grounds of Mar-a-Lago playing croquet and badminton with a bloody likeness of Mike Pence’s head.  

Have you heard what the World Economic Forum and the World Health Organizatio are up to? 

In a bold, if not fascistic, power grab, they are moving to act as agents of a global government that will determine how we will be allowed to live our lives. 

Under their wizened leadership, we are to become a race of nano ninnies and robotic slaves of the state. 

Imagine having your cellphone embedded in your body….ring-ring..”Hello, no one is home.” 

Remember it’s not really your body anymore. You are not going to own anything, not even yourselves…Wow,..that sounds really neato. 

This elite corps of impudent snobs who are seeking to run the world are quite concerned about cow farts and how they are contributing to global warming, which may be why Bill “The Gates of Hell” is investing so much money in synthetic meat. I bet that Forrest Gump might say “Life is like a box of warm farts!”

The creation of the global warming story is really a huge case of misdirection whereby WE THE SHEEPLE can be blamed for global warming. 

Too many of us driving our cars around and eating meat and, I suppose, farting as well. 

What to do about that? 

Oh, I think if the last two or three years is any indication they have a plan for that as well. 

As Henry the Kraut has famously said “Control the oil, you can control a country, control the food, you can control the people” Sound familiar?

And let us never forget that gay pride month is in progress in the land of the free and the home of the brave and, believe you me, if you say anything against all these LGBTQ antics, you better be brave because your going to get your ass canceled. 

But why complain… We could be living in permanent lockdown in Australia where it is soon to be masked gay koala bear day! “I pledge allegiance to RuPaul and the Transgendered States of America.” Blue states, red states, who cares, we’re all in this together… right? And remember blue and red make purple, which is a hell of a lot better than red.

And how are things in the U.K. these days? 

I wonder if our British cousins are having fun with King Boris I —  sweet mussy haired fellow who always seems to have their best interests in mind. 

I don’t know about our cousins, but I am pretty sure that most Americans would welcome a return to the happy days of King George III. Instead of a tea party, we’ll throw vaccine doses into Boston Harbor.

And when they come to take the white cis-gendered men away I will be sure to have my Ukranian flag hanging outside my door very close to my gay pride flag. I will also have a nose ring and ear ring on full display — oh, and lots and lots of hideous tattoos.  I have been sunning a lot and learning ebonics so hopefully I will slide under the racia — I mean radar — screen. 

One final point for all savvy undercover patriots to remember is do not ever be caught using gender-related pronouns. 

‘Woke up’ dudes and dudettes. We’re not only all in this together, we’re all ITS together! Get ready to be reset and built back better, my fellow kimoschwabbes!
Dave Evans, a self-described “independent free-thinker with libertarian leanings” who lives in Arden, once worked for the U.S. House of Representatives, as a contractor for the DoD (DISA and DLA)  — and at NOAA HQ Silver Spring, Md., where he was a project manager.

 



 


contact | home

Copyright ©2005-2015 Star Fleet Communications

224 Broadway St., Asheville, NC 28801 | P.O. Box 8490, Asheville, NC 28814
phone (828) 252-6565 | fax (828) 252-6567

a Cube Creative Design site